Forty, Fired, and Warning Midlife Disaster Ahead – Part 1

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Forty, Fired, and Warning Midlife Disaster Ahead – Part 1

Midlife crisis warning sign

By: Terry Burgess, Midlife Coach for Men

Eight years ago, I was determined not to get down on life because I was turning the big 40.  However, as discovered life had other plans to test me and see how much character I had left in me at that time.

Midlife crisis warning sign In my last blog post I shared with you my experience of being fired from my job due to a temporary lapse of judgement of my character at time.  I now had to face the fact that I was needing to rebound and continue to be a productive member of my family and community.

When I was notified employment termination in December of 2010 there were three big stressors in my life that those who were extremely close to me may or may not have known.   They knew that I had lost my job, some knew that I was in a very stressful and unhealthy marriage, however many did not know about the third stressor which I was holding very close to me.  The third stressor was that my mother had told me in 2009 that she was given 3 to 5 years to live because of kidney failure due to complications with diabetes.  This was hard for me because I am an only child and it had been just my mom and I since my dad died of a hereditary brain aneurysm in 1974 when I was five years old.

These three stressors would be enough to put many people in a depression. However, with the power of prayer along with the support of my mother, I began to work on a plan to stay positive and take things one day at a time in God’s plan.  I knew it would not be all sunshine and rainbows each day but I never imagined what was coming in my life over the next five years.

My last day at my job I was terminated from was January 4, 2010.  I was blessed by God to have found a part-time job for the local transit authority as a community bus route driver within two weeks.    My then wife and I who was working part-time as well at a local healthcare call center were having to figure out how to deal with having our household income being slashed by nearly 50%.  However, I could also get full-time employment with the healthcare call center my wife worked at in March of 2010 which helped to ease some of the burden though not all while I continued to push out resumes and contacts for employment in higher education.

However, that was not the end of the bumps in my road to recovery.  My wife and I still were in a very unstable marriage at the time.   I was dealing with a great deal of abuse in the marriage that many individuals did not know about but I was trying to keep it a secret to protect my step-son.   My wife lost her job in December of 2010.  Now we were down to my income and her unemployment income.  I was still able to keep things afloat despite this but the stress was mounting.  I maintained positivity and still held out hope for better things.

God tells us to trust in him and his plan. I believed in this and kept reminding myself of this.   However, my faith was really tested when my Mother-in-Law suffered two strokes at the age of 55 in January and February of 2011.  These strokes were debilitating enough to have her declared disabled and forced my wife and step-son to move home with her in the Summer to help take care of her.   I was told at that time that there was no room for me at the house.

Little did I know at that time what that one event was going to trigger in my life.  I saw it as an ending but God saw it as a way out and a start of a new beginning.  I ended up moving into the house of the fraternity I advised at age 42 and began to make a revised plan to continue to survive.

This is an excellent stopping point now of my background story.  Please look forward to my next blog that will detail the wonderful details of God’s plan for my life and my rediscovery of my purpose of life and presence here on Earth.

To Be Continued:

If you have a story of dealing with rediscovery and rebranding yourself after a career change or job loss due to termination or layoff, I would love to talk to you.   I would love to have your insight as I prepare to write my book and it would allow me to share other’s experiences.  Please feel free to contact me.

Terry is a Personal Leadership and Midlife Coach for Men with Upward MC in Benton, Kentucky.  He can be contacted via e-mail at  or by phone at 270-493-0967. His website can be found at


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