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Who Needs to Dream When There is You!

Today, I celebrate my anniversary of my marriage to my wife Melissa. Three years ago we became one and I began to see the light at the end of my eight years of my mid-life crisis turned disaster.    Life has not been easy but having her there beside me each and every day has made it so much more bearable.  She has inspired me, driven me and even corrected me when I need to get back on course.   The link below is the vows I made to her and my step-children on that day 11/20/15.  I still live these vows and will until the day I die.  Melissa, thank you for loving me and standing by me.  I LOVE YOU!!!!  

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Talk back to Imposter Syndrome

Have you ever felt like you don’t belong in a room full of successful people, and you think to yourself, “it’s just a matter of time before they find out I’m a fraud!” Believe it or not, there’s a name for this. It’s called, “imposter syndrome.” Seriously, it’s really a thing. And what’s more, it’s unbelievably common. Successful people often experience this phenomenon, and the more successful they are, the stronger it becomes. The problems that result from imposter syndrome can range from general stress and anxiety to complete career sabotage. Many professionals, although successful, have actually stunted their career growth due to their internal dialogue that they are not as good as they appear to be. I recently spent some time in Colorado, and had a fascinating discussion with a nice young couple on vacation. The gentleman had a terrific job as a technology specialist for one of the top tech companies in the world. We spent quite a bit of time talking about his work, and it was clear that he was a sharp, talented and hard-working young man. So I was amazed when I started talking to him and his wife about imposter syndrome, to which he replied, “wow, I’ve been experiencing that my entire career.” When […]

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What Makes You Truly Happy?

By: Terry Burgess, Owner and Men’s Midlife Coach, Upward MC Your spending habits can tell a lot about your state of mind and maturity levels.  I discovered this during my growth of dealing with the challenges of my midlife crisis.  I discovered during this period of maturity; I changed my need to obtain stuff into the need of creating and cherishing relationships and experiences. Physical items and things purchased were more important to me during my twentysomething and thirtysomething years.  It during that period of my life I thought there was a direct correlation between the acquisition of stuff and happiness. When I was 20 years old, I got my first credit card and purchased a Pioneer Stereo rack system.  I thought I was going to be happy because I had “big stereo and speakers” to play my music I loved.   Yes, I felt happy for a short period of time, but I soon had to find another item to have to be happy again.  This continued time after time.  It happened so much that I had to claim bankruptcy by the time I turned 29 because of all the credit card debt.  I also had collected a lot of “stuff” that did not mean much to me other than […]

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Let your Light Shine!

Creating a life of success is like building a house. You have to start with the foundation. Strengthening skills for productivity, time management or project management is critical for success. But this is like building the upstairs rooms of your house. You absolutely need to have the upstairs rooms. But if you don’t have a strong foundation, the rest crumbles. It doesn’t matter how nice my granite counter tops are, they’ll come crashing down without a strong foundation. Just what is the foundation for success? Mindset. And believe me, I know. I’ve built plenty of upstairs rooms, metaphorically speaking. I have studied, taught and implemented proven processes for goal-setting, project management and productivity. But when I practiced these skills without having a solid foundation, I crashed. The truth is that for years I lived with a crack in my foundation. I got kind of a hard kick at a young age when I experienced a traumatic loss in my life – the death of my mother. Mom died when I was 9 years old. It was as if my life suddenly went from living color to black and white. The blissful childhood I knew was finished. Over the next several years I slid into a tailspin of grief, loneliness and fear. […]

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Thank A Veteran for our freedom to recite “I Pledge Allegiance”

Every American should take a few minutes to listen to this legendary comedian help us to realize the full meaning of our Pledge of Allegiance to the United States Flag and Our Nation. Especially this week as we prepare to celebrate and honor those who have served our country on Sunday, November 11, 2018. Here is the link to this video by Red Skelton: I wish I would have founded it earlier. I have shared it with my Boy Scout Troop 2077 on Memorial Day. I told them how it made me really pay attention and fully understand the meaning and symbolism of those words that prior to this I recited as just words. This clip left the same impression on my as a lecture by Coach Harvey Mize in my high school Civics class when I was a sophomore at McEwen High School in McEwen, Tennessee. This was way back in 1984 Coach told us about what the National Anthem means to him as a Vietnam War Veteran and the visions and thoughts that go through his head when it played before a game. He talked about memories of the war and thoughts of those who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. From that day forward even until today […]

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Escaping in Life’s Hamster Wheel: 3 Tips to overcome the negativity of being stuck.

Every person that I know or have talked to has had a period in their life when they feel like their life is at a standstill.  They feel they just go through the same motions and routines day in and day out.  This is normal if its only for a few days or a week or two.  However, if it last longer than that you may need help to change the situation so that you can live a more rewarding life. Being stuck for extended periods of time can have harmful and negative effects on all areas of your life.   The negative effects of being stuck will cause issues in relationships, work, health, financial, and spiritual areas of your life. I want to give to you some help to get out of the hamster wheel or the swamp of life if you are stuck in a monotonous lifestyle in your life. Therefore, here are my 4 suggestions to help you. Quit focusing on your past Often, we get stuck because we focus on the past mistakes or events in our lives.  We want to live in our comfort zone where we feel safe and protected from our past failures and become content with where we are in life. Ask yourself […]

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Do I need a Coach or Mentor?

There was a time in my younger years where I thought why do I need a coach or mentor.  I was too prideful to realize  I needed a coach to help me move my life forward toward success.  This decision caused me to become stagnant in my personal and professional life.  My decision ultimately cost me the loss of my marriage, family, and my job of 15 years. However, I realized too late to prevent those losses.  I was wise enough to use several mentors and coaches to help me rebuild my life after these earthshaking losses. Why do you need a coach or mentor? First, we need to address the difference between the two.  They are very similar but there are differences.  A mentor is a person who has more success and experience in an area that you wish to do or accomplish.  He/She is a trusted person who will guide you and knows what you are going through.  A coach on the other hand is someone how helps you determine and reach specific goals with structured educated training with defined timelines.  A coach will discuss your goals, help you develop an action plan, and ultimately hold you accountable for your efforts toward those actions. Coaches help you get […]

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Social Business Networking: 3 Tips for Building Your Personal Tribe

By: Terry “Coach T” Burgess, America’s Midlife Coach for Men “Today’s most valuable currency is social capital, defined as the information, expertise, trust, and total value that exist in the relationships you have and social networks to which you belong.” – Keith Ferrazzi, Author The above quote is a perfect summary of the reason we all should strive to build quality social networks.  Keith Ferrazzi’s 2005 book Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time is an excellent book to help oneself to begin to understand how to successfully build a network that can propel you to success.  If you have not read it, I highly suggest you get a copy and read it.  This is a book that once I read it had to be on my bookshelf. Today however, I would like to present you three suggestions to help you in the building of your personal social network. Carefully create and select the members of your network You must first understand the members of your network reflect on the values and person that you show to the entire community.   Jim Rohn once said “You are the average of the five persons you spend the most time with”.  The same can be said in […]

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Is Walking Your Dog Really A Chore? Finding The Joy On Your Walks

I’ve heard people say “I’m going to take the dog for a walk and get that over with” like it’s a major chore. We got our dogs for a reason and now have the responsibility of taking care of them, which includes taking them on a walk. Even if you have a fenced yard where you can just let them out, they should still be walked. Can you imagine not ever being able to leave your house? That’s what it’s like for dogs if they don’t get to go on walks. Is Walking Your Dog Really A Chore? We can change our mindset by stop looking at walking our dog as a chore. A good way to start changing our mindset is by remembering what a gift our dogs are to us. They bring so much joy and life to our lives that taking care of them, fulfilling their daily needs and nurturing them is truly a gift. Instead of looking at walking the dog as a chore use this time for several things such as: * a bonding time between you and your dog being alone together with your doga time to meet new people and dogs if you see anylisten to a podcast to learn something newlisten to […]

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7 Steps to Create a Personal Monthly Budget

By: Terry Burgess, America’s Mid-life Coach for Men with Upward MC I don’t know about you but if you asked me back when I was 25 years old “Do you have a personal monthly budget?” I would have laughed.  My response then would be if I have paid my bills and I have money left over then I met my budget.  Fast forward 23 years to today and I will tell a much different answer. Should you not know what a Personal Emergency Fund account is visit the following link to my blog on what a Personal Emergency Fund is and why you should have one (http:// http://bit.ly/PersonalEmergencyFund). Now that you have a Personal Emergency Fund account lets learn how to create a monthly budget that is going to help you keep you on track financially. Before we continue I must give you this warning. Do not try to go about handling your finances without having a monthly budget and a Personal Emergency Fund.  If you do not use these two resources you will find yourself more likely to be in Bankruptcy and not in a positive balance in your personal bank accounts. So where do you start with creating your budget. Here is a seven step approach to creating a […]

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