By: Terry Burgess, Midlife Coach for Men
Stereo-typically, in our society when you bring up the term midlife crisis you immediately think of a man who is going through this phenomenon. I am sure the first thing that pops up in your head is the thought of a man in his forties making a big-ticket item purchase such as a red sports car or having an affair. This is because of the male centered and dominated society of the 20th century.
However, as women have expanded their role in the work and public affairs along with moving from a homemaker to a significant breadwinner in finance by percentage in many households, many more women are dealing with midlife crisis of their own. Many women though navigate through the midlife years or midlife blues much easier than men for several reasons.
First off, women develop much differently than men in their youth development. They are raised to be supportive, openly share their feelings, be considerate and compassionate for others. Typically, women are more active in support groups outside their work and home environments. These include social groups, professional work groups, and church groups. These groups provide positive networking, professional development, spiritual, and social development. These resources focus on sharing concerns and building women up in a positive manner.
Men, though are brought up much differently. Most men are brought up still with the “Hunter and Macho” development model that is stereotypical of their gender. This is the thought that the man is supposed to be the “head of the household” and the main provider of resources for the family. This is further compounded by the man being taught from an early age to not show any sign of weakness, emotion, or faults in their life. This “Macho Syndrome” though leads the man to have many difficultly later in life as they encounter issues within their family, their work life, and other situations.
Men typically will not think they are vulnerable to situations such as midlife crisis because of this “Macho Syndrome”. If they do recognize they are potentially suffering from a crisis, they keep it too themselves and do not seek help from others to deal with it in a positive manner. Often this leads to them acting upon their crisis with negative actions such as resorting to drugs/alcohol, overeating, anger issues toward friends/family, gambling, overspending, and shutting down to participating in society.
The next blog in this series is going to address how you as a friend can help someone who is going through a midlife crisis without overstepping boundaries that may do more harm than good.
If you are a person going through a midlife crisis there are individuals who can help you. I encourage to step up and get help. I know when I was going through my episode, my mentors helped me. I have become a midlife coach because I know there are people out there who need this help but do not want to approach those close to them because of fear of judgement and showing weakness.
If you are needing some help or discernment on where to go next; please feel free to contact me for a complimentary 1-hour coaching introduction. I can help you develop a simple starting point plan to help you get on the road from your “midlife crisis” to your “midlife rediscover and redesign” for your life. You can visit http://bit.ly/SchedulewithTerry to schedule you complimentary coaching hour!
Terry is a Personal Leadership and Midlife Coach for Men with Upward MC in Benton, Kentucky. He can be contacted via e-mail at Terry@upwardmc.com or by phone at 270-493-0967. His website can be found at http://www.terrypburgess.com