By: Terry Burgess, America’s Mid-life Coach for Men with Upward MC
If you are a husband or a wife do you remember your vows you stated at your wedding? You probably remember many of the words in the vows. However, do you remember the ring ceremony. It is the ring ceremony in which you commit to not only your vows but to be there for your spouse until death do you part.
I have been blessed to have been given two wonderful examples of love until death do us part up to this point of my life. The first one was my mother. She cared and stood by my father until his timely death in 1974 of a brain aneurism. My mother stayed committed to my father by never remarrying nor even looking for someone. The second is my grandmother. I will never forget the last 24 hours of my grandfather’s life. I remember walking into the house and seeing my grandmother holding my grandfather’s hand. She knew his end was near but she was going to hold his hand until he passed to the pearly gates. Here was a woman who had been faithfully married to this man for over 60 years and she loved him until he left this Earth and until her death in 2004.
I have been blessed by God to have been given another opportunity to witness another example of what truly living by those words in the marriage ceremony are in reality and truth. I thought I would never find a love like that in my life after my first two failed marriages. However, He gave me Melissa and her family. Melissa’s family has become my new family after my mother passed away in December 2015.
I have had the opportunity to witness the love of my mother-in-law and father in-law since 2012. This union of souls and love has given life to many blessings and fruits over their 51 years of marriage. They have raised two wonderful children. They have been faithful servants of the Lord. My mother-in-law has cared for and taken care of her family just as the scriptures have taught her to in her studies.
The past month has been very difficult to watch my mother-in-law deal with the rapidly declining health of my father-in-law. However, I have been blessed to be able to witness the tremendous love and devotion of my mother-in-law toward the love of her life even now in the last days of his life. My father-in-law has been in the hospital or rehab center for nearly an entire month of June. My mother-in-law told me that this past month was the longest time they had been apart ever in their marriage. I had to take a pause to really put that into my thoughts and the power in that statement. These two souls and lovers have been side by side for over 50 years and now the sands of time are rapidly running out on their time together.
However, my mother-in-law is doing exactly what my grandmother did with my grandfather. She is going to stay by my father-in-law’s side no matter what until “death do us part”. I spent an entire day helping her, my wife and my stepson moving all of the furniture out of their living room to prepare to bring “Dad” home possibly for the last time. I had to watch her breakdown trying to stay strong as she prepares to stand beside her best friend and companion of the last 50 plus years fight a losing battle with kidney and liver complications from diabetes and cancer.
I am so thankful that God gave me another chance both to find a love like that in Melissa but also to witness in the love of her parents. The ring in the picture above is my father’s wedding band. My mother gave it to me before my last failed marriage to help remind me of the commitment I was making in my marriage with my ex-wife and her son. I asked Melissa prior to us getting married if I could use it as my wedding band with our marriage for the same reason with her and my two new stepchildren. However, I now see another reason this ring holds such tremendous power in my life with the three tremendous examples with my grandmother, my mother, and now my mother-in-law of what true love and devotion is in real life marriage. It is my reminder and desire to live up to their examples as Melissa and I grow closer in our marriage and eventually our golden years.
It’s not too late for you to commit or even recommit to your spouse and those words you spoke at your marriage. My challenge to you is to tell your spouse you love them and you want to recommit to them until death do you part from this day forward.
Please feel free to contact me for a complimentary 45-minute coaching session. I can help you develop a simple starting point plan to help you get on the road from your “mid-life crisis or challenges” to your “mid-life rediscovery and renovation” for your life. You can visit http://bit.ly/SchedulewithTerry to schedule you complimentary coaching session!
Terry is a Personal Leadership and Mid-life Coach for Men with Upward MC in Benton, Kentucky. He can be contacted via e-mail at Terry@upwardmc.com or by phone at 270-493-0967. His website can be found at http://www.terrypburgess.com